Am I really having too much thoughts? Or just afraid of facing what may seem to happen? Oh well.. I'm lost. Seriously..

Until now, I still find joy in talking to people about God. Sharing past experiences of being in church and so on. I often wonder why. I've left church 4 - 5 years ago. Why do I still feel the joy of the church, the happiest and comfortableness of hearing and humming to praise and worship songs. But, there's one thing I wouldn't deny. I still considered myself as a Christian and I still love God. However, I still feel that I wouldn't want to return to church so yet. I'm so afraid of committing myself now.

And.. Does that (the last sentence I've mention) refers to my life?

Sometimes, I really wish I'm still single.

Is it because of the commitments?

I wonder..

I mean. Thing isn't the same when you're attached. There're bound to be restrictions here and there. And what really make things worst is when: you really just need your partner to understand some things, but you ended up getting misunderstood and causes a quarrel/ argument. Being attached means you're not only doing thing and being liable to yourself but also your partner.

Seriously, it can be a tired chore (I would call that- being responsible to both you and your partner). But somehow, it also can be this that you learn.

I wouldn't deny that my partner make me realize tons of things. But he does, make me hate certain things to the max as well.

Being in a relationship is such a love and hate situation.

You love it for the fact that there's always someone there for you. To dote on you. To brush your hair to make you feel the love. To.. Blah blah blah...

Being in a relationship, I believe make you change yourself to accommodate the person you're with as well. Which.. Can be good or bad.

I did realize that my relationship now change me a lot.

From being a super short tempered person NOT to a long tempered. But at least, now I'm able to control my temper. From a person that talks too straight (I still does when the person talks "too straight" to me), I try not to pick on the person weaknesses. From being super super glue, I try to keep my cool, control it, let him rest then give him the love that he needs.

But seriously.. Changing myself, I think can be good, can be bad.

But now, I'll see how it goes before I comment on..

It's my life anyway. Maybe just a different way of living it. (:

Till then,

xoxo

:)