There's seriously something wrong with me. I'm getting duper emotional this few days. Like for a moment I can be craving for boyfriend, but at other end, I'm thinking about something else.

You appeared in my dreams again. And this time round is a short one. Somehow or rather, I still feel something. But like what I say in the previous post, let's just maintain the ********** that we shared.

If only I could like brainwash myself. Sis is right. The 4 years came too early, too early to settle what we want after the 4 years. Like there's no other way to move already then therefore break up is the only solution. Sometimes I wish that we never got back together after the instructor thing. Cause I feel like the devil in this relationship. And I'm bringing this guilt along with me throughout after that incident. And this guilt just grew stronger when more things began to happen.

I guess it's time to pack up. And move everything out. But still, everything seem easier said than done.

I hope you enjoy your trip. (=

Until the next entry,
xoxo

I've always been clicking into this blog of mine, just to access to the links to read others and never thought of updating mine.

With all that I've been feeling, thinking, emo-ing about this few days, I thought maybe it's time to type out something. At least, there are people reading, understanding.

2009, a year that past so fast, that sometimes I didn't even realize what I'm doing. It's seem like I've delicate myself to Zouk in the year 2009. Everyday, every hour, every minute, every second is all about them. Like I don't have time to sit down and breathe whatever that doesn't belong to Zouk. It's seem like every memory I've about 2009 is all about Zouk. The staffs, the managements, the customers, the bars, etc.. Even like remembering the most painful decision of leaving Jonathan, is also on my way to Zouk. Like WTH, why is everything all about Zouk.

Since last Friday, I've ended my career at Zouk. Stepping onto another stone, going towards gaining more knowledge. Enrolled myself into SIM for further education. Management Studies, if you want to ask what course did I apply for.

With regards to Jonathan, I would say I have already move on. It doesn't matter whether whose faults it is already. It just matter that I decided that he isn't the one for me. I may feel the pain, the pain that I would describe as no amount of tears could easily make me feel better. No matter what, it's still a 4 years relationship. But now, it'll grow in a friendship way..

Whatever happened, I've put behind me. I've realize that I've always been look at like one of them by you. No matter how disappointed I get with you, I just choose to carry on with the *********** that we share. I just hope you'll always be there for me, like I'll for you. (=

With a new love coming in now, I'll just try my best.








Till the next entry,
xoxo