Before typing this out to post, I actually pen this down on a notebook. Although I never get to finish writing it, but still gotta post this. To pen this down, I didn't do it to check my sentence structure, not even my grammer, vocab or spelling..

Just thought this is worth to be read by some kuku people who will happen to come by this notebook or what. And it will be forever in my memory, no matter what future I hold. And my reflection is none other than about my '3rd mum' also known as Jonathan's mum.

She passed away on the 26 August 2009 at about 10 plus at night. I would say it was quite a shock for me. Although it was kind of expected in a matter of time, but I just didn't expect it to be so soon.

I seriously hope that she left for heaven happily and peacefully. Jonathan, his sister ans=d his dad was around by her side when she left. Although their concentration wasn't on her, but it was already like all the people that she love was all around.

No more pain for her to suffer anymore.

(my note was till here, cos I was really tired)

Her death cause a big heartache to me. Because the fact that things wasn't going too smoothly for me already.. But at the same time, I really see true friends of his. They don't say much, but they were just there, to give him a pat on his shoulders, give him the strength that he needs. He's really lucky to have them. This bunch of friends who always try their best to make it for him. Compare to them, I'm nothing better. All I did was sit down there and be with him. Even asking me to take all days to be AL, I also cant do it, what sort of girlfriend am I.

I just can't be compared to him at all..

I just can't be a very good girlfriend at all..
Maybe just a good friend, I guess..

Just a failure..